Taking Down the Tree

"How do you know me?" Nathanael asked.

Jesus answered, "I saw you while you were still under the fig tree before Philip called you."

Then Nathanael declared, "Rabbi, you are the Son of God; you are the king of Israel."

Jesus said "You believe because I told you I saw you under the fig tree. You will see greater things than that."

John 1:48-50

I love Christmas trees. They have forever held a magical place in my heart.
The pretty lights. Glass bulbs. Glitter and Tinsel.
I put my tree up the day after Thanksgiving and it doesn't come down until mid January or later.
Last year I finally had my very first real Christmas tree!
I cut it down from a ditch.
Yep.
On the side of a busy highway with my mom and a pickup, I sawed down that tree. All with warm fuzzy ideas about turning my Charlie Brown tree into a thing of beauty. And I did...

(after wrestling with getting it in a tree stand. Did you know tree stands aren't made for ditch trees? Well they aren't. The trunk is too small. So that was an adventure.)

I have always loved Christmastime, but the older I get...the more Christmas and New Years have become associated with loneliness. Each year, for the past few years without fail, I have had to deal with heartbreak at some point November though February. Last year was no different.

So there I was. Mid-January. Staring at my tree. With another broken heart. I knew it was time to take down my tree. And I started to cry. Clinging on to the warmth and beauty of Christmas might make things a little better. I didn't want to take it down.

January 2017 began with the usual goal of reading my Bible more...(which pretty much crashed and burned after about two weeks). So I was sitting by my Christmas tree and reading when I came across the passage of Jesus calling his disciples. Philip brought Nathanael to Jesus.

How do you know me?

Jesus answered, "I saw you while you were still under the Christmas tree."

"I saw you."

He saw me and my bruised and battered heart. He saw my hurt. He watched me weep and wish. As I blubbered, childishly holding on to whatever silly magic Christmas still offers.

Despite my mess.

He still chose me.

He still offered me greater things.

Now a year later, looking back I can see His fingerprints all over 2017. It turned out to be a year full of one joy after the other. And I am so happy to say, no, I did not have yet another lonely Christmas. And I am not sad this year to take down my tree. I am excited and expectant of what is next.

Because He saw me. He heard. And He answered.

He still chooses me.

He still offers me great things.

My God. He is enough.