Take Courage and Take Flight

When I was in London it took me an hour to get to Greenwich where my Graphic Design internship was located. I had to take the tube (underground), walk, then the above ground train from Charring Cross station...then more walking. Each day on that train I looked for one particular sign. It flashed by quickly, but always made me smile.
Red letters on the face of a building:
"Take Courage"

I may not have a white horse, but my little white Focus will do. :)

Driving home from getting groceries, this song came on shuffle.

I cranked it loud.

Lifted my hands high from the steering wheel for a  few seconds.

And felt like I was flying

Do you have moments like that?
When this cavern inside your chest, that you didn't know was there, is suddenly full to bursting!
Like you were hungry and didn't know it?
Your soul was stirred...riled up...
And now you just want more and more.
For me, sometimes it's songs. Or nature. Sometimes a piece of art or working with my hands to create something new. Or a hug, kind words, or smile from someone. Last week I went to my middle schooler's choir concert and when our 8th great boy with autism got up to sing the solo for "Wagon Wheel" I could hardly conceal the huge smile plastered on my face. Proud moments. Moments when you feel like you are a part of something big. You feel loved and free and...dare I say it?...powerful. 

This song brought back the memory of last spring when I was working on my senior art show.

I often played it when I was painting the last panel...the salvation/freedom/heaven panel.

"I will ride, I will fly, chase the wind and touch the sky."

At the time I didn't fully grasp the immense meaning behind what I was painting. And I still don't really...but I have a better idea. I have a feeling I will be unveiling the mysteries of the concepts from my art show for the rest of my life! haha!

A single rose, risen from a life of death, stands on the hilltop stretching towards the sky in praise.

Independence, yet hugely vulnerable...open to the winds and elements that can blow it over.

But blessings swirl around.

Not long ago someone praying over me said they saw a picture of me surrendering - arms spread out. God then revealed boxes of jewels to me as I continues to surrender.

It's a scary place to be...but that is what is so thrilling.

The unpredictability of it.

The fact that although we live in freedom...free will...we cannot take control into our hands or we'll miss the blessing.

How ironic is that?! It seems as though it should be the opposite.

This idea has been rehashed and rehearsed for me over and over in the past year. But I'm still learning. 

Always learning to trust.

one of my favorite moments from my time in England...these cliffs

Once upon a time, after I graduated college and was applying for jobs....it came down to only one offer left and I had to accept it or be jobless. I thought "God, why!? Why would you send me far from what I know to the middle of no where...where I know no one!??" But I knew even then that He had hedged me in, given me that only option, because He wanted me here for a reason.

He wanted to teach me how to trust Him more.

And the work is not done. I falter all the time...but it's gotten easier. 

It's more than that though...I can sense there are other reasons that He brought me out here that have yet to be revealed to me.
*Today at church another teacher, much my senior, urged me to pray for our school because of some things I was not aware of. She asked for my advice and it threw me back! Why are you asking ME! A first year teacher...for words to help!? Am I needed?

*And then there's the fact that I'm finally making friends my own age here! Hallelujah!! Praise be to God!! Last night I was out till midnight at a bonfire, just hanging out. So good for my soul!

*Still yet...God has been ever turning my heart to the needs of my students. He's been urging me to serve and love them. What a blessing (although it often feels like such a strain) to have a job where I can have such an impact on young lives...especially at such a crucial time in their life when they go through huge changes and a kind word or smile from a teacher can mean the world. I often take this for granted.

I haven't blogged in awhile because...honestly...things have been much easier this semester! I think I have a tendency to write more when my life feels tragic because writing helps me to see the positive. haha! But really, this time around has been much less stressful now that I have a better idea of what I'm doing!! :)

God is just good.

And He has quite the sense of humor.

Last semester, if you had asked me whether I might stay another year...I'd probably respond "absolutely not!!" But God said, "Oh, reeaaally...?" You just can't say never to God. :)

I'm not saying that I've made a final decision to stay...not yet. But in the last few months He's been molding my heart and given me unexpected circumstances to thrive here better than I was. And shockingly, now I'm not so certain if I should leave even if another job offered! I kind of feel like my work here is not finished and if I don't finish the ride, I could be sorely missing out. Like Esther, what if He brought me here for such a time as this?! 

So I honestly have no idea what my next step is.

Who knows where I will be next year.

I've just been riding the waves and going where the wind takes me.

Because that's what God has been trying to teach me to do...just trusting in Him.

All I know is that He is Good. And His Love Never Fails. 

He has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Lately I've had quotes from the movie "Ever After" ringing in my ears:

Prince Henry: "You swim alone, climb rocks, rescue servants...is there anything you don't do?"

Danielle (flinging her arms wide): "FLY!!"

But later in the movie she enters the ball wearing wings and captivates the whole room. 
She takes flight. 

I will ride

I will fly

chase the Wind

and touch the Sky