Reality Check for Ms. Holcomb

Well, I'm now starting my third full week of "being a real teacher"
and let's just say...it's been an adventure.
A real learning experience.
An opportunity to become a better person.

Because it definitely has NOT been a walk through the roses.
And I'm trying to be as positive as I can about it...because over time things have gotten better, as we've gotten into the flow of routine, and things will only get better from here on out.
There will just be a handful of emotional breakdowns along the way (never in front of the kids though...absolutely never).

That first week I felt like everything was working against me.

Early outs every day due to the heat,

and my room being one of (if not THE) hottest classrooms in the whole building with no A.C.

Half the school is air conditioned...so they might come from a "comfortable" room into a room they are less than pleased to be in.

Ms. Holcomb standing at the door trying to keep a smile on her face..."Welcome to the Sauna!"

Not to mention that we were told, based on fire safety, that we had to keep our doors shut during class...even though it felt 20 degrees cooler in the hallway.

Trapped.

OH! but on Friday afternoon, the end of that long excruciatingly hot week...when Ms. Holcomb felt like the melting wicked witch from the end of the Wizard of Oz...the wizard finally discovered that the exhaust fan at the back of the room actually works and helps to suck the hot air out!!

ALL that hot air...we could have raised a balloon.

And the Melting suffering all week could have been prevented.

Plus, Mr. Harding took pity on us and let us start keeping our doors open.

And the nice janitor (who I've been sure to befriend) got me another fan.

So we are no longer melting, but it's still pretty stuffy.
And I'm surprised I haven't lost my voice for having to yell all the time to be heard over the fans.

Plus, based on some conversations, I've can deduct that the last art teacher wasn't the best at her job...I mean, her classroom wasn't very structured.

As my neighbor teacher mumbled to me once, "Those kids are used to walking in the Art Room doors and expecting chaos."

So the heat and lack of structure in the past didn't do much to help my behavior issue class....the eighth graders.

Namely: 7th period

*tremble*

The class where each table has a "high flyer" kid on a behavior plan.

The class that caused me, after school on only the fourth day, to sink into a chair in the principal's office and ask for help.

However, that day taught me how awesome Mr. Harding, the new principal, is.  Seriously! I've never seen a principal so dedicated to actually be in the classrooms and build relationships with students AND teachers!! He and the guidance counselor (who is also my mentor...win!) gave me some tips, which are now working well for me, and filled my empty tank with fresh encouragement.

So things are on the mend.

Slowly.

Every night I've had to take a step back and reevaluate everything I'm doing.

I have had to completely rewrite my semester plan for the eighth grade projects...to give them "milk before meat."

It has been frustrating and sad for me to do...because honestly, right now the 7th graders are two steps ahead of the 8th grade class...simply because they can listen and follow directions, and thus can learn and practice more complicated techniques.

I'm reigning in that 8th grade class, the class with the attention span of a two year old and mental set that they are "above the law",...slowly but surely.

But when, during those first mini projects that didn't require much verbal instruction,

that bull-headed boy looked at me defiantly (when I reminded him to be working and not chatting),

and asked me "what the point of this is."

And the next day when another asked the same thing...

I had to control my emotions (from grabbing their shoulders and shaking some sense into them...yet I felt the blood rush to my face in a red blush...betraying me),

and simply reply..."This is teaching you perseverance, and you're not showing me you can do that right now."

But what I wanted to scream was:

I want to teacher you deeper things, to have challenging discussions about what "ART" really means.

But you can't handle it right now. (If you want to act like Elementary students, you're going to get really simple projects to begin with).

I believe in your potential. You may not be the next Picasso...but if what "art is?" really comes down to knowing how to problem solve, using critical/divergent thinking skills, and nourish creativity (skills that are becoming MUCH more needed in jobs these days)

...then that means that You are an artist. Yes, even you who can only muster a stick figure for me.

Art is a way of seeing the world...perspective...finding the beauty in the ugliest places and focusing on the minute details.

Art can generate joy and be an expressive release for built-up emotions.

Art allows you to use your whole brain, not just the "logical" left side.

That is the point.

Each student I have has potential to be creative.

But the harsh reality for me is that some students still just don't care.

I know I'm a good teacher...and I'm working towards being a great teacher.

BUT It takes two to learn...and they have to at least meet me halfway.

And then today,

the day I was dreading...the first Demonstration for the 8th grade classes...requiring them to pay attention. To learn how to watercolor.

But they loved it!

Even one of those boys who asked me "what's the point?" that other day...

today said..."this is fun!"

And he used his time wisely, painting away the whole class.

And I wanted to pump my fist in the air...victory!

I've been learning how to get by without needing much of their approval

but MAN, that felt good.

So what has been keeping me sane?

Probably the fact that for once in my life, I've been much better at having my "Jesus time" each day, reading scripture, and just refocusing on what is REALLY true. Cause it can be easy to feel like a failure on days that my lessons flop. But although that may feel like the truth, it's not.

The time that I have to do this quiet time is in the morning before school...when I am most focused. Unfortunately though, that means I have to get up around five every morning. But it's SO worth it.

It has been really interesting, as I've been going through the book of John, to see Jesus in a new "art teacher" light. Like that time he heals the blind man, teaches him how to really see. Or when he teaches about how the sheep will follow the shepherd because they know the shepherd's voice and He calls them by name. I get it. I get that in order to reach students, you have to build that relationship of trust.

I also get that Jesus had to put mud on that blind man's eyes and tell him to wash before he could see. And I choked up when I read how Jesus waited before going to Bethany, after Lazarus had already died, and Martha ran to him..."Lord, if you were here my brother would not have died! But I believe that even now God will give you whatever you ask." He waited...so the miracle would be all the sweeter and her belief in him would be strengthened. Because perhaps it was more about rolling the stone away from Martha's heart than healing a sick man. So he had waited, and he called for them to roll away the stone, stench of a man three days dead seeping out...only then raised him from the dead. The mud...the stink...the mess. It takes a struggle, nights wrestling with God and begging Him to bless me, the dark womb, the pain of childbirth...to bring new life and a new way of seeing and a new way of learning how to live loved. So roll the stone away from my heart, Jesus! Teach me to truly believe so I can seen the glory of God.

If you'd like to read more about the projects we've been working on in class...go to my Art Room website: http://apaintedperspective.weebly.com/index.html

I'll be updating it soon. My goal is every two weeks. :)

But for now...here are a few pics!

Putting my Art Theory Class to use

Meet Philip FishLips my new Goldfish. He's very active and funny to watch.

Scrap fabric curtain project for the apt...re-purposed old bedsheets

Be Smart and Make Art

Blessings,

~Merely Mortal