Fireworks

I was laying on a blanket at the County Fairgrounds with my mom...no expectations of quality for a small town show...but excited none the less. I haven't seen too many fireworks shows in the last five years. Mom knows how much I love a fireworks show, and so she went with me even though the rest of the fam didn't want to. :)

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The best way to watch fireworks is laying on a blanket on a grassy hillside.

One time I brought my own blanket to a show, fully intending to assume this posture...and all my brother's friends decided to pile on too! The nerve! This meant that I couldn't lay down for the show. I was so angry that I got up and tried to find someone else I knew who might have a blanket edge open for me...leaving my blanket with those moochers.

 In highschool, 4th of July nights for the fireworks show was one of my favorite events of the summer. We'd meet behind the house of a church family and have a pot luck, hanging out playing games with friends...then walk over to find a spot behind the school to watch the show.

Still a fond memory of mine is the time I ended up laying next to my "high school crush" for the show. What luck! We pointed out all our favorites and he felt the need to nudge me and point out all the planes or satellites in the night sky and, although I could care less about those blinking lights (I'd rather a shooting star), because I liked him it thrilled me. I kept thinking that he might try to hold my hand, and I made sure my hand was by my side and clearly available, but of course he didn't. Haha! It's funny to think about that moment now, but it's still a sweet memory in my mind.

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They were late getting the fireworks started and mom and I were beginning to wonder if we had missed them when it started. The beginning was so-so...which made us savor the pretty in-between ones even more. My favorites are the simple "weeping willows" that sparkle and leave gold dust hanging in the air.

I couldn't have anticipated the ending. Bravo! Firework after firework grouping continuously for an impressive time considering the quality of small town shows. The sky lit up from the scene, the atmosphere thick with thunder, my eyes huge in awe wanting to blink but afraid to miss anything. Just when you thought it would end...it kept going....a breathtaking kaleidoscope of color and the vibrations echoing in my chest.

And there's where it happened

Those rare sweet moments when you feel incredibly small and insignificant yet so so loved simultaneously by a being far bigger and powerful than yourself
A creator weaving together the magnificent display before your eyes.

Worship.

Divine Romance.

My heart burned within me and I felt myself soaking it all in...wanting more, afraid it would cease, yet it continued and I thrilled at the sight.

The thought crossed my mind: "This is what I'm meant for. This is a piece of heaven. Beautiful and terrifying all at the same time. When we are told to fear God...I wonder if this is what it means...this all-consuming awe." 

In the midst of such a display, one cannot help but worship.

I wanted to sing or shout Amen, Hallelujiah...anything to convey my complete wonder and adoration.

Yet I was truly breath-taken...not wanting to miss a thing, or distract myself with words that wouldn't even come close to expressing my wonder.

A man-made creation...yet drenched in God's fingerprints of beauty.

And it was as if God said to me what Michael says to Angel in Redeeming Love: "This is the life I want to give you."

The show was for me and it satisfied that hunger that ever rages in my heart.

My God, My God...Holy Holy Holy